My hormonal roller coaster

Everyone has their own paths to walk in life and this is just a bump in my road (our road, because it now involves my husband ) he has become part of the journey too and to be honest It’s so good to finally feel not so alone! ❤️

First I need to take you back to when it all you started ..

From an early age I had a fair idea that something was not quite right with the woman parts of my body. I was 16 by the time I meet my friend (which normally greets us once a month) for me this was very different. My period never seemed to come, it came when it liked and it didn't really hang around too long! I felt very un-feminine due to the fact I was so old when I got my period!! I didn't really have any clue about what my friends were talking about as they had their periods all at a very young age. They would all be talking or complaining about their periods or talking about the pill / and I just had no idea about any of that!! I was just wishing that one day soon I would get the damn thing.

When I think about it, I remember feeling really embarrassed that I had not started my periods yet, and I knew it was not normal. I did start to worry and wonder why it hadn't turned up when one of my friends started at the age of 11!

I know now that everyone is different and I probably shouldn’t have been comparing myself to my friends. But that's when the stress started and the worrying all began.

Honestly I think I was just getting my period when I became sexually active so then I dragged mum to the dr with me and told her I needed to go on the pill due to my periods , but actually it was a bit of both , trying to cover my ass with a contraception pill so I didn't become pregnant before I actually wanted to be!

Then came the dreaded after math of the pill! How can one tiny little pill do so much to your body? I met a completely different Hayley when I started on my pill journey ...being 16 and a very daring teenager my parents probably thought I was the devil! I had terribly bad moods, and incredibly sensitive!! Also I started to realise the pill was doing funny things to my body! The pimples came, the stomach pains came and I also just started to feel generally sick! The pill also didn't do anything for me , my periods where still irregular it never came when it should have and was so un predictable I started to think wtf is wrong with me ...my doctor would always say okay well that's not the pill for your body then , here have another , and another , and another I think I did this six times then the last straw for me was being out one night with my girlfriends. I suddenly ended up curled up in a ball on the ground screaming in pain / the pain I was experiencing was so sharp and intense that i yelled out I want to go the hospital - then I realised shit I'm too scared to go there , I'll go home and visit the Dr the following day!

After braving the doctor and telling her about the pain and what I was experiencing she said my stomach had started twisting which was happening because of the pill! So I had a few days off school and I had to take some other drugs to help settle my insides, then I was offered another dreaded little white pill! I couldn't stand going on another one so I didn’t.

I think I was about 18 when I decided enough is enough I'm not going to be on this horrible pill anymore and for me I believed i was doing the right thing! But the doctors always tried to convince me other wise and get me back on one!

The one thing i have learnt through this journey I am now on is, you know your body better than anyone else, stay in tune to it and follow your intuition. I'm really glad I decided to follow my gut and take myself off the pill!

"All of the tiny decisions you make throughout your day, create your lifestyle " (Dr Libby Weaver )

Goodbye little white pill !