The unknown can be incredibly stressful. When things aren’t quite right all you want is an explanation at the time, however that answer you get may not be very pleasant.
Here I am sitting in the waiting room with my mum at the age of 22. I hoped I was going to find out some answers to why I had a missing menstrual cycle! However, as some of you who are reading this may understand, the feeling of awaiting results that you need to hear but may not what to hear is a pretty daunting experience! You certainly can't prepare yourself for what your about to hear, even when you want to know what's wrong!
So as I lay on the bed with a wand in my private parts I start to panic (what if she does see something or tell me something is wrong how am I going to cope ) I get down from the bed and the specialist starts speaking.
"Hayley your scan shows that your ovaries have many cysts and folic particles. I hear the word ovaries and I immediately start panicking in my head. SHIT this is not good, what does this mean for me when I want to have the children I have always dreamed of?
the Dr carries on talking, she is now using so many technical words that I semi switch off she blurts out the words polycystic ovarian syndrome, short and sweet she hands me a piece of paper explaining the condition in a very confusing way and sends me on my merry way.
During our short conversation as I sat on the couch like a possum in the headlights, I started to cry. I had no idea what I had ahead of me, what this meant for my future, my health or if it was curable! I was hoping she had it all wrong because the thought of now having a diagnosis scared me a whole lot more!
As I was leaving out the door, I built up enough courage to ask the question about babies. I was 22 years old and not ready to be a mother but I knew deep in my heart that when the time was right I would want nothing more than to be a mother. As I asked this question I was so scared for the response, the reply back was, “it is possible but with your condition you will need some help. When the time comes I will see you again”.
I left the room feeling like my dreams had been crushed into a million pieces! I had so many more questions yet I couldn't find the words to talk. I was relieved that I knew why I didn't get my period, anxious because I knew nothing about this condition and worried about what my future may hold! And to this day I have all those roller coaster emotions as this condition is so unpredictable and not one person that I know who has been dealt this condition like me is ever the same! It affects women in so many different ways! And it is down to you and you alone to discover and find out what works for you and your body and find the courage to hold your chin up high and carry on!
"Promise me you'll always remember your braver than you believe, and stronger then you seem, and smarter than you think " (Christopher Robin to Pooh )
Here is a link that will tell you more about PCOS for anyone who is interested. It may be worth a read as a few of my friends and people who I have recently connected with are now questioning whether their own menstrual cycle is right...
http://www.healthline.com/health/polycystic-ovary-disease#overview1