No one is ever prepared for anything that happens! You can think you
are prepared, you may act like you have it all together. You have
worked out and played many scenarios over and over in your head! You
can talk yourself into being prepared but I don’t think anyone is ever
prepared for what life throws your way!
God I thought I was prepared! I have dreamed of the one day that I was
pregnant and that I was going to be able to embrace all the amazing
and beautiful things that come along with pregnancy! I thought I was
prepared for everything under the sun! But no, I was very wrong! I
don’t think anyone can prepare you for how you are going to feel, how
your body is going to change, how you are mentally, emotionally and
physically going to have to respond and cope with all these changes
that happen!
Do not get me wrong this blog is not at all about how pregnancy is
hard, because to me it is not , I can say I have found this pregnancy
an amazing beautiful experience and I have been very blessed to have a
little one that hasn’t made me incredibly sick! Because then I may not
love being pregnant! I want to shout out to all the amazing women out
there that carry all these little miracles we call our pride and joy!
It’s a hard road at times and boy do you yourself grow as a human!
One day there comes a point in your life that you don’t come first!
And I believe that is the day you become a Mum, not they day you
physically get to hold your baby but the day you find out you are
growing another human being! The person you have taken care of your
whole life becomes second to the new life inside you and your focus
shifts to wanting to give this little human the best life you possibly
can! Buying items for yourself, clothes or make up, the essentials,
the non-essentials become a thing of the past. All you can think about
is wanting to provide for this baby and get everything you possibly
can and want for this new life you have created!
Sometimes your energy is so focused on this little human being or just
getting through each day! Your body is so emotionally exhausted, your
relationships start to become second best and everything goes on the
back burner! Your days consist of always working and failing to
communicate!
You need to have one of those moments in life where you have the real
talk, the talk that shifts your thinking and brings you back to
reality! For me this talk comes from my husband! He’s a man of few
words, however when he does talk, he can pull me back in to line
pretty quickly!
Since becoming pregnant our lives have been pretty full on, everyone’s
life’s are pretty chaotic these days! I don’t know anyone who could
say their life is plain and boring, we all have shit going on! Most of
us all have private shit going on that we are hiding behind closed
doors! No one’s life that they have created for themselves has ever
come easy, we all have a story and somewhere to grow from!
Amongst the excitement of finding out our little baby is a girl! I got
pretty caught up in wanting to buy her everything under the sun, and
give her all the nice clothes and provide her with a nice nursery! I
got so swooped up in it all, spending hours on my phone researching
and following other mums that had little girls and who too have
provided beautiful nursery’s for their little ones and brought all the
head bands, dresses and what not! I got myself all wound up about
needing to give her all this! Yet after some realisation and a little
bit of a talk with my husband these little things are just little
things! They are not essential to my little girl’s growth or
development!
If I don’t have the money, which I don’t have the money…. I shouldn’t
get myself disheartened that she may not have the nursery you see on
Instagram or on Pinterest! She may not have the expensive branded
clothing that some of you might spend your whole pay check on! I have
now realised that this stuff is just stuff and it will always be
stuff!!
While I was studying I learnt a lot I researched for many years about
the importance of the early years and we all know that the first three
years in a child’s life are the most crucial... Those first three
years are about nurturing, and caring for your baby not about
providing them with stuff that they don’t give two shits about! They
don’t care what clothes they are wearing, they only care that they
have clothes to wear , they do not care where they live as long as
they have somewhere to live, they do not care who loves them, as long
as they do have someone that loves them!
Maslow’s hierarchy of needs is a motivational theory in physiology he
talks about the five tier model of human needs each has a level within
a Pyramid. They are self-actualisation, esteem, love\belonging, safety
and physiological!
Physiological and biological needs are the essentials - air, food,
shelter, sleep and warmth! These are the essentials I need to be
worried about providing for my little baby! These are the important
aspects that I need to get right in her life!
Safety needs, protection, security and freedom. Our little girl needs
to feel safe and protected she needs to know that she is loved!
Love and belongingness, friendship, trust, acceptance, affection and
love. I will devote myself fully to my little girl who will know every
day how much she is loved and wanted and provide her with the
acceptance she needs to grow as a capable, confident young person!
Esteem needs - mastering achievement, independence and respect! I will
spend my days respecting her needs, watching her independence and
fostering her development, respecting her to develop in her time and
space!
Self-actualisation needs! Realising full potential, self-fulfilment,
and personal growth! I will spend my life encouraging my little girl
to reach her full potential, I will be proud of her daily, and be her
biggest cheerleader!
If I follow Maslow’s needs during the years I am blessed to be my
little ones Mum I think I will be happy and fulfilled myself!
Sometimes in life you get so caught up with just what you think people
want you to see! Everyone needs to take a step back in life and look
at the bigger picture. Don’t always look at the picture in the squares
on insta and think your life needs to look like theirs! Don’t think
you need to justify how you raise your child to anyone! Other people
don’t live your life, you live your life!
Raise your child how you want, do what’s right for your family! What’s
right for my family may not be right four your family or your
circumstance!
I know what’s important now and what’s not. I know my core philosophy
to raising my baby girl and I will stick by this! We as a family will
sacrifice many things to give our little girl the best life we
possibly can, if our little miss doesn’t have the coolest clothes on
during the day, yet she gets my devoted attention and my love each and
every day for the first year of her life! That’s a win in my eyes! I’m
sure little miss won’t mind if she misses out on having a beautiful
nursery! If I don’t have the money to do these things for her, I
shouldn’t care, she won’t miss out!
I guess I just wanted to share to all the amazing mums and mum's to be
out there, don’t get caught up in all the unwanted thoughts that might
arise during your pregnancy! Don’t stress about not being able to
provide all the pretty things! Just be the best Mum you can be and
your child will thank you for that!
I also want to highlight your husband, during your pregnancy you may
forget about your husband for a while! Life takes over! Your sickness,
you’re spewing, you’re burping, you’re farting, and your fat growing
tummy may disgust him! Yet don’t forget you two love one another and
it was two before three! You wouldn’t have your little miracle without
him, so don’t forget about him! Talk to him, acknowledge him and make
sure he is okay!!
John and I have been quite distant due to lack of communication, we
have forgot to use our words, words are so important we need to hear
that our love ones love us, we need to feel affection otherwise we
start to think they may not love us anymore! It wasn’t until John and
I had a blow up when we decided to talk about how we were both
feeling! Your feelings are so important they need to be shared, heard
and appreciated!
I got a lot out of our blow up and we were able to communicate with
one another! I learnt a lot from John expressing his emotions and his
feelings! You can’t just keep guessing how someone feels, you need to
hear it! John shared with me that he is nervous and scared in becoming
a dad! This made me cry like a little baby! Because I didn’t know this
is the way he felt! He has nothing to be afraid of as he is going to
be the most amazing dad in the world and our little girl wouldn’t have
picked him otherwise! It’s not just a change for the Mum and the mum’s
body! These nine months of pregnancy prepare the man just as much as
the women for the new life they have created!
I have no doubt that John will be a great dad and a great help to me
as a first time Mum, I’m not sacred at all for our little miss to come
into our life’ ! She has already made my life the best life possible!
"The best things in life, are NOT things! "
Shout out to this man, who still gives me butterflys!
We where two before three! remember to always love and show love!