Wow I can hardly believe that I am sitting here 30 weeks pregnant and only 10 weeks out from meeting our little miracle! If you had asked me this time last year about what was instore for me I never thought I would be where we are now! John and I were all prepared to start our IVF journey in April and now it is May and I am six months pregnant! I am one of the lucky ones - our little miracle has happened through other medication and intervention and we are very blessed and fortunate that this did work for us. For others the road is hard and long.
I didn’t ask to get my infertility issues or my health issues yet with everything that has happened to me I see it as some sort of blessing, it has taught me so much about myself. I have learnt more about myself in the last few years than I think I ever would have if none of this didn’t happen to me!
No one asks to get sick from cancer and suffer, or even face a long cruel drawn out death! We have to carry on living our lives the best way we can and continue to grow and make the best life we can out of the situations that arise and what horrible things may happen to us! If there is anything that this journey has taught me, it is that you learn so much about yourself, you gain strength, courage you never thought you had and you become brave. You discover that being brave is the only option you have to keep moving forward! You gain greater respect for other humans, their journeys, their lives, I have learnt to be more appreciative of what I have and what I want out of life! You learn to empathise with others and share in their journeys! And somehow want to delve into helping them along their way!
I started writing my blog in order for me to have some sanity through the roller coaster that is infertility. I did not do it out of wanting fame or sympathy! I wanted to reach out to others who were on their own journeys and be a sounding board for ones who wish not to speak or find it hard to share. In writing my blog I was able to give myself the therapy I was needing, I needed to vent, to talk and express my emotions and my deepest thoughts, my worries and my concerns! I needed to voice them in order to set them all free!! This is the type of person that I am! And I have learnt that about myself!
In knowing this about myself I was able to do something great! I can turn my infertility journey into something positive and detach the stigma away from not wanting to talk about infertility, miscarriage and IVF! These topics are daunting for most, yet 1 in 6 couples have to face it during their life span. It is their reality.
Other people may not know what others are going though in their quest to conceive, we live in a harsh reality that words do hurt and do leave emotional scars that over time slowly build up and build up! For many years I was asked when are you going to have a baby, or why have you not had a baby yet?! For some the reality is they may never be able to have their own baby, carry their own baby or ever have a child of their own genetics! It’s a cruel world out there with me often wondering why some people who don’t want to have kids end up with them yet the ones who would do anything and sacrifice anything to get one, never get the chance!
Infertility is no joke, it’s a massive burden and strain on a couples’ relationship it takes its toll on every aspect, I honestly wouldn’t wish is upon my worst enemy! The emotional stress and strain it does to an individual is unreal and until you walk a day in their shoes I don’t think anyone could ever compare it!
I guess when I talk about Fertility I feel very strongly about advocating for women who are facing their journey and quest to becoming a Mum! I have meet so many amazing women through my own journey, through my blogs I have been able to be completely honest and raw, by doing this I have gained trust from strangers and even people I know! I have made many new friends and they have been able to open up to me and share their journeys, some may have never thought they would tell! I am honestly blown away by how much feedback and contact I receive since writing my blog and sharing my own journey! I only ever wanted great things to come from this and by being able to help others and sharing our journeys together it makes me extremely humbled and blessed to feel like I have and can make a difference by just speaking out!
I honestly feel so empowered by others to want to make a Change in this world! I have been thinking for quite some time about what I want to do next and where I want to go with this. And after many discussions with my close friends and others I have come to a conclusion that the awareness of infertility for women and for men is just not out there! Yes, I said men! There are plenty of people who just assume or believe it’s the women who may be infertile, yet men can also and it’s becoming more and more common!
If there is no awareness how are these men and women going to know what’s instore for them later down the track when it comes to making babies?!
I have thought about my own journey to finding out about my fertility and health issues and I believe if I was taught earlier and was provided with more information I would have got on top of my issues a lot earlier! When I was at primary school we were spoken to about getting a period but not really about what might be occurring if you do not get a period! So here I was waiting and waiting for my period to arrive - 16 is very late to be waiting for a period to arrive and then straight away I was so excited! I was classed as normal I went straight on the pill because that’s what everyone was doing back in the day, and girls may still be doing this! I then skipped my period and played havoc with my body all through my teenage years! In the back of mind I knew my cycles where never right yet I hadn’t been taught ways to know what could be happening. When I decided to eventually take myself off the pill after realising it was not working out for me, it was only a chat with my older friends that alarmed me that having a period every 6-8 months wasn’t that normal! Especially when everyone around me knew what date their period would arrive on!
Lucky I was still young when I decided to go to specialists and sort myself out! Others may not be so lucky and leave it until much later! During my high school years I believe we had a sex education class which mainly gave me the shits and shared me half to death and I had it in my head that if I had sex with a guy I would fall pregnant straight away! I was so afraid of this as it was made out that having sex and making a baby is extremely easy and that girls and guys are fertile as hell! Yes this might be the case for most but for the 1 in 6 of us out there this is not the case yet we were never spoken to or informed about this! I feel there needs to be more information and awareness for teens and the younger generation. There needs to be a talk designed based around the reality of what could be happening if you do not have normal periods. There needs to be information provided around Endo and PCOS need to be spoken about more! Hormone imbalances and even just talking about infertility and conceiving in general!
I would love to know others’ opinions on this? And if anyone has any idea on how I could make this happen it would be much appreciated!
